I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
