Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Randomize
