i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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