Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
