i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
