Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
