I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
