Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I have tasted many bathrooms
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize