I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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