Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
