i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
