Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize