White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
only you would photoshop your dick
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
