did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize