he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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