I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He felt like a one man threesome
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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