She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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