I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
