I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
