My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
