I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
