yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
