dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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