It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
