How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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