yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
