We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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