i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
