Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
