Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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