I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
