The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
