Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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