Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize