i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
