Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
