Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
