Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
