Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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