brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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