CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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