maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize