I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
