Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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