dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
