2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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