Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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