OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize