dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
