i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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