i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
