at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
