I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
nutella sex= disaster
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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