I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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