Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
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