Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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