One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
