Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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