DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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