i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
