I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
