Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
