She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
