I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
