I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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