Jerry, you need to find god
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
