THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
