I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
