grandma shit on top of the toilet
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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