Betty ford says i'm here all night
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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