I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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