Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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