You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
