I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
